Weight loss after a baby … yikes!

24 Mar

This blog is about me … no cute pictures of the adorable McKenna, no ravings about how cute and smart she is. Just me.

I have been realizing over the last month or so that I am slowly slipping back to a place I NEVER wanted to be again. Fat.
I went from 283 lbs to 146 lbs in less than 1 1/2 years. From a girl that had so many hopes and dreams, but let her weight stand in the way … to a girl who had everything she could want and then some. I had confidence! Maybe a little too much at time, but hey I had 27 years to make up for. Fast forward to shacking up and then getting married, living with a man puts on the pounds! He wants a burger and fries … ok sure why not. The difference is that he burns it off without lifting a finger, I do not. =)
I probably gained around 60 lbs with my pregnancy. I don’t know the exact number but sometimes I am tempted to call the OB to find out just how much I weighed the day before I went into labor. I’ve lost about 20 of those lbs and still have 40 left. Then add on what I gained being married and that number is much too high.
I realized recently I’m back to not having the confidence I once had. I certainly don’t feel beautiful and don’t expect my husband to lie to me and say that I am. So what’s a girl to do? I could accept the giant-ness of new post baby body or do something about it. The daily walks aren’t doing enough. I have to stop eating my favorite foods in excess and get serious. Wearing maternity clothes from last summer, this summer … can.not.happen.
I’m taking an hour each night 4 times a week for myself. It has nothing to do with being healthy for my family, looking good for my husband, being able to chase my baby around, it’s all for my own vanity and self esteem. Being healthy for them is of course important, and the cherry on top but I’m not going to lie and say it’s the only motivation.
I miss that feeling of being on the elliptical and treadmill and feeling powerful. The way my muscles kept me going. It’s a high. In 3 months when I turn 31, I want to be back to my pre-pregnancy weight. If I’m not, that’s ok though … as long as I keep up the promise to myself to work out. Because I am not going to be trapped in this body anymore. I will not let myself go anymore.
Tonight I dragged the elliptical out into the living room and while watching 90210 I worked out for 35 minutes. Quite the feat for someone with zero stamina thanks to almost 9 months of Dairy Queen blizzards. Dairy Queen doesn’t taste nearly as good as wearing Bebe and looking good.
This is me at my biggest, before losing weight. I will not get to that point again.

This is me at my lowest weight, feeling better than ever. I will wear this dress again.

And, this is me now. I have quite a ways to go, but hope people will help encourage and support me in working out. With a million things to do each day it’s easy to put myself last but I can’t anymore.
*Disclaimer* If my husband reads this, yes I will continue to eat chocolate at times, just don’t let me eat the entire bag. 😉

2 Responses to “Weight loss after a baby … yikes!”

  1. Beth April 5, 2010 at 1:01 pm #

    I am in the same boat! I lost a TON of weight before my wedding in 08, I felt great about myself and clothes actually fit me nicely! I know I am not meant to be TINY but in the 140-150 ish range, Like you I gained 60 if not 70 pounds while pregnant. My treadmill and total gym in the basement call my name EVERY stinking night, I just dont have the engery after working all day and tending to a baby all evening……maybe we can support each other and give each other edge we need by holding one another accountable? just an idea…..I need help 😉

  2. Christina April 8, 2010 at 5:30 pm #

    Beth, I know what you mean .. the elliptical calls my name ALL DAY LONG. I am still only using it 3x a week since starting this. It’s hard when at the end of the day you have absolutely no energy. Start with baby steps, 20 minutes a day 3x a week! You can do it. =)

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